Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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