Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
