This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
