shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
