I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
