The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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