Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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