I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
