i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
