last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
