Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
