I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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