I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Randomize
