my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
