I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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