Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
