I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
