first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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