Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
