Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
