drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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