He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
We need to rekindle our bromance
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
