You're so nebulous sometimes
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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