i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
