Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
