its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
