um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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