It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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