he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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