Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
