These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
