omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
