So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
