are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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