We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
