I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
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