He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
We were destined to go to rehab together
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
