3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
