You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
