I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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