ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
