Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
