I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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