seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
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