She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
