so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
