Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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