I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
only if we run a train.
done.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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