Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
