if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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